Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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