I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
