He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize