yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
