I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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