my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
