I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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