Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize