Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
