This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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