i just had sex bonerless
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
