Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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