And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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