ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
