Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
