I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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