my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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