Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
