He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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