whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize