Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
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Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
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Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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