Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
