Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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