Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
