this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
