I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize