My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
no you cant smoke seaweed
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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