she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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