I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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