If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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