glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
