i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
