So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize