matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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