Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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