sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
