I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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