like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
