Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize