it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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