You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize