I wish I could teleport
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
