You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
