Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
