my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
