if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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