This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
