he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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