So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
