Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize