note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
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was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
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the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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