you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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