Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
