Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
