go do what you do best...puke behind churches
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner