Texts From Last Night

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  (954): View more from Florida

  i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it

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  (954): i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it http://tfl.nu/cllt
  Replies (28) Good night (709) Bad night (5569)
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  (408): View more from California

  He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.

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  (408): He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize. http://tfl.nu/u4mt
  Replies (29) Good night (823) Bad night (6545)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.

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  (484): I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting. http://tfl.nu/ejol
  Replies (15) Good night (5883) Bad night (1455)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library

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  (203): shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library http://tfl.nu/bbu0
  Replies (6) Good night (3158) Bad night (808)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?

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  (662): There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this? http://tfl.nu/zwz2
  Replies (4) Good night (1215) Bad night (1669)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.

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  (505): I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster. http://tfl.nu/elih
  Replies (1) Good night (2148) Bad night (700)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.

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  (716): You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough. http://tfl.nu/zxfj
  Replies (8) Good night (887) Bad night (2623)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement

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  (270): I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement http://tfl.nu/ql20
  Replies (22) Good night (3196) Bad night (752)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway

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  (651): I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway http://tfl.nu/e0rj
  Replies (2) Good night (1255) Bad night (418)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.

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  (503): I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature. (503): Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true. http://tfl.nu/zw1q
  Replies (3) Good night (1395) Bad night (452)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?

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  (920): there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room? http://tfl.nu/s38b
  Replies (8) Good night (564) Bad night (1262)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time

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  (302): Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time http://tfl.nu/xi83
  Replies (0) Good night (1012) Bad night (340)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days

  (1-604): View more from British Columbia

  Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days

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  (604): Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days (1-604): Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days http://tfl.nu/vv75
  Replies (2) Good night (720) Bad night (325)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.

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  (307): WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk. http://tfl.nu/ho36
  Replies (2) Good night (805) Bad night (395)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit

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  (585): Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit http://tfl.nu/5lf7
  Replies (3) Good night (463) Bad night (237)

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