i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?