Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend