Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(828): View more from North Carolina

can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.

(919): View more from North Carolina

wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!

(828): View more from North Carolina

i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.

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(828): can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later. (919): wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here! (828): i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa. http://tfl.nu/e72d

Replies (2) Good night (1118) Bad night (935)
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(815): View more from Illinois

Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?

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(815): Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed? http://tfl.nu/op28

Replies (29) Good night (906) Bad night (4539)
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(909): View more from California

my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks

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(909): my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks http://tfl.nu/7ncm

Replies (16) Good night (1235) Bad night (4343)
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(916): View more from California

I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"

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(916): I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences" http://tfl.nu/bi6b

Replies (16) Good night (5041) Bad night (1634)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.

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(412): For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events. http://tfl.nu/5o8b

Replies (11) Good night (4370) Bad night (1436)
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(917): View more from New York City

How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?

(1-917): View more from New York City

I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian

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(917): How do you have time to get laid so much in law school? (1-917): I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian http://tfl.nu/71w8

Replies (14) Good night (4412) Bad night (989)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.

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(307): We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives. http://tfl.nu/qq5e

Replies (22) Good night (4676) Bad night (1023)
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(916): View more from California

My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.

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(916): My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher. http://tfl.nu/1p6a

Replies (2) Good night (1460) Bad night (1239)
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(415): View more from California

The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.

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(415): The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes. http://tfl.nu/qcrt

Replies (4) Good night (1401) Bad night (740)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."

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(605): You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times." http://tfl.nu/zubu

Replies (6) Good night (2648) Bad night (825)
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(808): View more from Hawaii

At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.

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(808): At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life. http://tfl.nu/lsk4

Replies (5) Good night (1638) Bad night (609)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.

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(781): You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe. http://tfl.nu/3tsh

Replies (3) Good night (544) Bad night (1002)
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(831): View more from California

Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out

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(831): Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out http://tfl.nu/e8gp

Replies (1) Good night (753) Bad night (518)
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(647): View more from Ontario

I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus

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(647): I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus http://tfl.nu/qs6l

Replies (1) Good night (387) Bad night (514)
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(630): View more from Illinois

i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.

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(630): i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair. http://tfl.nu/5kiw

Replies (2) Good night (310) Bad night (461)

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