hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
