Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
