david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
