would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
