Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
