Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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