I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Duck Duck Cougar?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
